Holidays

Currently listening to:
La Mer, Jeu de vagues
Claude Debussy

I don't believe I like holidays. They make me feel awkward because I don't like the large crowds that result or the seeing of people I haven't seen in a long time, I don't know what to do around them. Holidays seem to interrupt the daily existence I become used to - as well as the person I became in all that steady time.
However, I do enjoy the idea of Christmas: the family/friend dinner by a fire while the world outside is bare and white and the way smells are so poignant on top of the uniform smell of cold. It's a holiday that shuts you in with tea and a book, if not in the company of another.
Still, I don't know why I feel this way; it only serves to isolate me from the standard college student. I guess I haven't found the people that are more like me; maybe I don't want to deal with people; maybe I just need a break from this college.

EDITX
I'm really not unhappy here. I think I just need a break. As I posted a while ago, it's hard to really feel and be emotionally involved out here. People interpret my mood differently and some even get upset, specifically Robyn. The way they interpret tells me they don't really know me, perhaps my fault, though I'll claim the ignorance of not even knowing myself - especially not since I've come out here.