Everyday this semester, and it's felt like many more days than it has actually been, I've told myself that I'm just a ghost here. I'm seen but unseen. I think I'm touching peoples' lives or at least making some kind of impression and yet I feel I could so easily just disappear off the map. I will be graduating soon enough and that will happen, and before then I'll be in an apartment which I could see being a sort of womb in which I could spend a lot of my time.
I suppose it's a sort of Donnie Darko-esque idea; being a part of the lives of people in one reality and, in another reality where you didn't interact with those people, they still feel you. Sort of a ghost in that respect. It's a strange idea to be fading from one reality into another. I feel like a disconnect from reality could cause me to disappear in which case this ghost presence in others' lives would be felt.
This sounded clearer and more poetic when I was writing it in my head hours ago.
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On another note, I've gone to a sustainable development club meeting, which started the only organic garden on campus, and a horticulture club meeting. The people there are interesting and older... maybe my sort? I went to another horticulture club meeting and we found out the club greenhouse has mealy bugs, which are apparently impossible to get rid off. So those whole club stock of propagation had to be thrown away, pots and all. Some plants seemed to be free of them so they were submerged in neen oil which suffocated all air spaces within pot and plant without harming the plant somehow. It's sad that so many plants died from this, but funny because when I asked about recruitment the guys said members couldn't really take plants they want yet today I gained seven plants! Further, the whole bay of the greenhouse has to be burned. Flamethrowers will be brought in and the earth will literally be scorched.
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