Movie Dreams

Last night I watched a bunch of stuff. I saw many of the Phantom Museum stop-action shorts that are very much like David Lynch, 10 to Midnight with Bronson, Dead Heat about a resurrection machine bringing criminals back to life, and some other that didn't play as big a roll. I was high by the time it was bedtime, so I crashed without melatonin, my stomach full of junk food.
I dreamt I was in some sort of school building, maybe a middle school, which was surrounded by large amounts of abandoned agriculture land that looked dusty and some swamp-like land. The sky was dark and hazy.
I was with some people who were more like the classic stereotype personalities that make up a movie cast. We went inside and turned on the antique looking wall lights, which produced a dull, flickering light as hazy as the sky. The inside of the "school" was surprisingly similar to the layout of my parent's house with added rooms or stories; but this seems to happen with all buildings in my dreams.
A certain level of fear was felt amongst the cast of the dream; apparently, the world I entered when I fell asleep was full of creepy imagery and creatures that wouldn't make sense, but had to be avoided.
One particular scene that stood out vividly to me, because it felt like it was most of the dream itself, occurred in my room. The room was altered such that the bathroom door led to a guest bedroom a little smaller than mine but with a similar configuration of windows. The really long window in my room had the new blinds my parents just put up, but with a break so that half the window could be open while the other was closed. Next to that window was a vertical strip of marbled glass, thick and distorts the view so it's like a natural blind. The last window that mattered was the normal-sized window that had a leafy bush growing right in front of it, obscuring the view. The blinds are the sort that let light through but only shadows can be seen, and are operated by drawstring fixed to the wall. I was with an older man character who was loveable but confused.
In my room the blinds were fully down and in the guest room the blinds were only down on the window half nearest the door. I could hear something breathing or pressing against the large window in my room, but I didn't want to raise the blind. So I went into the guest room and peeked around the edge of the half-blind. A very large, white-haired, winged dragon-shaped creature was crouched by the school trying to see through my blinds. Somehow I knew that if it saw anyone it would break through the house to grab them. Just like in the movies, I also knew to move back to my room, and sure enough the creature started moving toward the guest room to look through the unblinded part of the window. It gave up the search and took flight and on its hairy tail I saw a flag with some eastern looking symbols apparently growing from the tail.
The last memorable scene took place at the normal-sized window with the bush. The bush was thick enough not to see through, but thin enough to make out what was happening inside of it. Right up against the window was a central cavity in the bush of leafless stems. On one stem was a praying mantis and every once in a while it would vibrate, the whole body would shake in place. It would fly to another perch and do it again, and once in a while quickly vibrate greater distances to eat an insect. I know for sure this part came from the Phantom Museums series. Weird dreams, the kind I like.

Spring Break and Spring Break

I went home for the first half of spring break, which meant a plane ride. In exchange for shaving ten hours off my journey I was frisked, scanned, herded, luggage searched, and packed into a metal tube. They also stole my toothpaste that had EXPLOSIVE plaque-fighting capabilities. Then I was on a plane next to a business major looking kid and his mom. I had my scientific papers to read through, but the mom mentioned how her son and I hadn't spoken once we were almost to Dallas. Her son must tell her he's the star of the school, which is why I would know him out of 45,000 meat drones high-fiving and talking about how laid they were last weekend. He said he's a business major because he didn't know what else to do; I said I knew.
And then I got home and prepared for the family trip that was planned months in advance though the family forgot to tell me. It was sort of our last family vacation (like the RV trips), and after sharing a bed with a family member throughout it, I understood why; us kids are getting too big. It was an enjoyable trip to Waco to see a community of amish-like people, and an expensive trip at that. I also got to see Merle and Rosie, and Dandelion briefly to give her the Smashing Pumpkins mix.
After getting back to Fort Collins, I got some busy work done and picked up Jeska the next day. Her flight was late because wind blows one direction, then the next (I'm joking). We finished preparing some lamb to be cooked on the mountain, and the next day we were there! She did surprisingly well for arriving in a much higher elevation at night and the next morning walking around a couple thousand feet higher than that.
We got firewood together and set up our sleeping area in the car, complete with books and battery candles. Once it started getting darker Jeska started the fire and we made mashed potatoes, lamb, and vegetable chili. Unfortunately, the chili was way spicier than it should have been, due to my fault. We slept and woke with the sun.
The next morning we ate chicken sausage and acid. It gave me a stomach ache, which I think was an amplification of the negative feedback my body had for the sausage. In any case, it wasn't visionary and it felt strongly within my body like I was on the verge of a great journey but couldn't cross the threshold. I assume this was because the acid happened to be in sugar cubes and wasn't able to be held in the mouth very long. After a few hours of this feeling, and the sound of gunshots from all our new neighbors at the campsite, we decided to push out. The shadows were interesting as well as the landscape. I felt very tranquil about the drive, but wished it was on a straight highway with no other cars on it.
A lot of cooking was done: Jeska made hushpuppies for the first time, we made broccoli pesto, fried chicken, quiche, breakfasts. She's a fast learner in the kitchen. I took her to Beau Jo's pizza, which was an adventure in itself, and she took me to get gelato. I was able to see a lot of old town by walking around with her; it's much bigger than I thought. We also took a tour of New Belgium. Over the course of a little over an hour, we consumed five free beers: two in the intro (Abbey, their first beer, and a wheat beer I didn't catch the name of), Caocao Mole in the employee lounge (which was an unexpected find for me, almost like a fiery cinnamon hot chocolate), a Fat Tire an hour off the production line, and La Jolie (a three-year-old sour fruity beer they make for fun). New Belgium turned out to be a pretty energy efficient operation and people seemed happy working there.
Jeska and I had Andrew over for a dinner party, just the three of us. We had the quiche with salad, Andrew's fruit salad, and pesto pasta, and a five cheese or so cheese plate. Andrew broke out the Spice and it was good. Jeska said it made her feel like being high for the first time, which could be good or bad. A week later, Andrew had us over for a dinner picnic with some of his friends and his grandpa. He must have had ten pounds of ground beef with hot dogs and with lamb, not to mention the potato and fruit salads. I tried to make a red wine reduction for the lamb and it smelled like wild berries, but I put in too much sugar and it caramelized onto the nonstick. The second go-around it was kept more watery and the lamb was further cooked in it rather than have the reduction as a jelly-like glaze. Still, it was all good and we went on a walk behind his grandpa's house, which leads to a jogging trail.
The ten days having Jeska here seemed so long and so short. I think it confirmed many doubts we may have had and brought us much closer. I really can't wait to live with her in August at a slower pace of life.

The Smashing Pumpkins

"It's the backseat of a convertible driving through a cookie-cutter neighborhood in the heat of summer, when the sky looks as if it could be the ocean, as if you could swim in it. It's the timelessness of the playground, when existence is just a series of time slots without knowledge of anything else. It's the heartbreak of not knowing what you will do without someone, and the heartbreak of the possibility they will forget you. It's the joy of being with someone, two people in a crowd, reckless and imaginative. It's seeing something rough and pock-marked as smooth and undefinable; and seeing the dimensions of something smooth."

When I listen to this music I feel a pain inside and remember MTV memories, not even of my past but of the classic images of children walking down railroad tracks and getting a soda at a gas station after school, all in the gritty sepia-tone camera shot. Their sound is so nostalgic its almost like they were recalling the "golden years" while still in their prime. There's something sad about that.

01. Galapogos
02. 1979
03. Today
04. Thirty-Three
05. Cupid de Locke
06. We Only Come Out At Night
07. Disarm
08. Mayonaise
09. Perfect
10. By Starlight
11. That's the Way (My Love Is)
12. Blew Away
13. Landslide
14. Take Me Down
15. To Sheila
16. Drain
17. In the Arms of Sleep
18. Luna
19. Dancing in the Moonlight
20. Farewell and Goodnight

Class Discussion Makes Me Feel Lost

In class, discussion and questions are encouraged. I'm usually quiet since I prefer smaller groups or one-on-one discussion, but once in a while I ask a question after someone brings something up. It's not that I'm dying to know the answer but a matter of clarification to get people thinking. Somehow when I do this I'm not able to communicate exactly what I'm imagining, so the response is usually a common sense type thing coming from the dismissive graduate students with animal backgrounds, even though herbivore ecology is an undergraduate class. It's frustrating. I think it's also interesting that only in these types of situations do I see pictures in my mind and have to translate them to words. I wish there were more small group discussions.

Overdue Letters

Currently listening to:
Like Rock and Roll Radio
Ray Lamontagne

I know it's really about time I write you, Dandelion.