Date a girl who doesn’t read because the girl who reads knows the importance of plot. She can trace out the demarcations of a prologue and the sharp ridges of a climax. She feels them in her skin. The girl who reads will be patient with an intermission and expedite a denouement. But of all things, the girl who reads knows most the ineluctable significance of an end. She is comfortable with them. She has bid farewell to a thousand heroes with only a twinge of sadness.
- Charles Warnke
Currently listening to:
Casiotone for the Painfully Alone
I just found this band today. They have some of the saddest songs I've heard in a while. The repetitive melody and strained vocals really fit the mood. I've been feeling strange this weekend. Last night I drank with friends and we smoked and I felt happy and a sense of well-being, then people went on their own way for the weekend and I couldn't go camping like I'd planned because the weather became colder and threatened to snow, as it always does when there is time to do something other than school.
I dream the long meaningful dreams I have these days and wake up groggy like the characters in movies when life isn't going their way, only I don't smoke a cigarette and rub my slightly unshaven face.
I have homework to do and a test to prepare for, yet I don't want to do these things. I didn't pass my second phone interview and am more uncertain about whether I'll have something meaningful to do this summer. Everything feels so fragile right now and I may just blow away. These are times for becoming stone and watching one scene for a long stretch of time.
Currently listening to:
Young Adult Friction
The Pains of Being Pure at Heart
1. The Fun House: Described by a friend. In the broad scape of seeing all things, certain things will stand out depending on the state of the person. You look at a desk and see what is pertinent to you at the time. In different states of self you will notice what you normally pass over. The smallest details will be the most interesting.
2. The Pop-up Book: Similar to the Gallery, everything appears flat, but there are layers. Shakespeare wrote, "All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players." The world appears to be a set and if you remain a part of the audience it would be no different than the Gallery except for the curiosity as to what exactly is behind each two-dimensional piece. As an actor, the set can be explored; each new location is another page turned in the Pop-up Book.
3. The Natural Way: Patterns of the ground reveal paths that would not normally stand out in such a way. Strips of dead grass surrounded by green, lines of gold leaves just fallen from a tree, ruts. Patterns in nature which someone once noticed and permanently replicated with concrete and metals. These are the paths less taken or subconsciously taken.
4. Forest Patterns: I have only experienced this in places of thick vegetation or trees; this is a branch off the Natural Way. Some aspects are seen at any time: a line around tree trunks, like belts that connect into one long line at a distance, for example. This differs from the Natural Way because the paths are not necessarily always present; the paths are presented by the forest, or so it seems, as if it is guiding each person towards something it wants them to see. The paths I see often lead to clearings centered on something.
5. The Gallery: Sitting back, the world before you appears flat and slightly fuzzy. What you see is almost like a giant painting, remaining the same in all directions. It is almost as if you and those around you are in a gallery, totally removed, looking at various pieces, commenting on them.
I had this idea when we were being told about demons that come into the world to wreak havoc and the Sacred Mother is the one who disposes of them rather than the Babaji of the time. So I was thinking about demons that came down with evil intentions but got distracted - because our planet has so many. It's the opposite spectrum of Edward Sharpe's idea of the prophet who comes down to guide humanity but gets distracted by girls and love.
I began the break by going on a floor trip to the Great Sand Dunes. We had a good group going and it was pretty fun. I hiked mountains and the sands and we visited a place called Creststone which was one large parcel of land split up amongst anyone with a religion they wanted to represent, so it's thought of as a zone of spiritual energy. We stayed in park ranger housing; from a window i could see both mountains and the dunes depending on the angle I looked from.
I got back to the dorms Tuesday and have been enjoying the quiet despite my hoped for plans of another experience with drugs. The break has gone by so quickly, I'm dreading the beginning of classes again, especially since I'll have an additional class starting. So I've just been eating and watching movies. I took my car in for a recall deal, reformatted my computer, and I'll write postcards and do homework.
I did hear back about the interview I did for an internship. Forty people applied for five positions; I'm not one of them. The other four internships I put my application in for never really took off the ground. It's interesting, talking about it with my parents, they were so assured I'd get one of them as if I were overqualified educationally. I'm just another student, perhaps one that doesn't know how to interview over the phone, and there are a lot of people out there. It really puts things in perspective; I'm not that special. So I will be looking at newly posted internships tomorrow and hopefully I'll get one before summer.
