Many Firsts

Two nights ago I spent the night with my friend Andrew. First we went to one of his coworkers' house for some pre-"gaming" before going to some music venue at a club. They seemed like good people but, according to Andrew, they all have some nasty characteristics once you get to know them. I probably won't ever get to know them because of the scene they associate with, and because they are much older than me.
The club was a little strange to me since I've never been to one before. The music was too loud to talk over; they played some electronic music. Two people were painting off to the side, I guess as paid entertainment? I stood in front of the speakers at one point and it felt like I was standing and there was another me passing through me, forward then backward, reverberating. When I explained that to Andrew he said I should follow the movements of the reverberating me to dance. I never really feel like dancing, if you can call it that, so I just stood around feeling awkward. I was there for Andrew anyway, and don't plan on being in a place like that again. Once more I got the feeling I was being watched and I kept catching people looking at me right before they turned away. I know I've posted about people staring at me and I still don't know what they're seeing. Probably my uncomfortableness and how much I didn't want to be there.
We finally left and went back to Andrew's which has a cool room in the attic with tan walls and a slanted white ceiling to reflect light. The room contained two tables, an armchair, two beds and the walls were mostly bookshelves. The purpose of the night was to try DMT for the first time which is released when you're born, die and sleep. We did it at the same time and became paralyzed; we couldn't really speak or move, only look around. The room, for me, became divided into three separate rooms: the empty bed with a couple carved chairs and bookshelves, the bed I was on facing the computer desk, and the armchair Andrew sat in with the other table and bookshelves. The empty bed room became very stylized, colors warm and vibrant, like the back of some 1950s cereal box. I never looked at Andrew, but the plate on the floor with the painted rim became figures dancing in a circle, and in the mirror over the table I saw myself sitting perfectly still and then the reflection started looking around and moving while I stared. There was also a phase where the entire room became painted like a child's paint-by-number, colorful splotches of paint representing things. It was also a little like Andy Warhol's style. I also saw a membrane on the inside of the room coating the walls; it was a soft gradient blue. I mentally enlarged it by pulling a section of wall towards me and saw a pattern of connected pentagons with a thin black line in the upper half of each pentagon. I didn't enlarge it anymore to see what was inside the line. Perhaps because I noticed it, the membrane began decomposing and was soon gone. Andrew would later tell me he saw the same thing and a variation of the painted sequence. It was like we shared a conscious lucid daydream.
All in all, it was very short, like an abridged mushroom journey, as if all the scenes that would happen with mushrooms were stitched together to make one confusing moment in space and time. I felt like we had lost an hour but it was probably five minutes. For the amount we did to get that effect and with how much it costs, I probably won't do it again. Mushrooms are a lot cheaper and more open in length and content. I have to say, though, that for how short DMT was I remember it very vividly days later.

Then last night I was up for four hours or so making beet burgers and a big salad. There's so many different veggies in each, I'm excited to eat them. I also made two cans of hummus today with my freshly opened spices. I could taste a difference in hummus with the old spices at home and the new ones here. Hopefully everything I bought will last at least three weeks if not four because I did spend a lot on groceries. Fortunately, the organic garden club I am with is still producing food and I've been given permission to take what I need. One of the managers said he's been taking excess home over the summer and composting it because there was just too much to use. So maybe I'll have free organic foods until the end of September, weather permitting.