It's kind of difficult to explain. I seek that comfortable area of conversation that seems to be limited to face-to-face meetings. I want to recreate that feeling; however, sometimes I come across great resistance. Some sort of barrier is up and must be shattered to reveal the soft soul below. I'm afraid I just don't know how to do it smoothly.
I ask lots of questions. It's how I get the details of people's lives, sure, but it's also a means for keeping a conversation going. I guess I need to buy time until the breaching-point is reached and comfortable conversation ensues. I wish conversations didn't have to become so ragged in order to become like old times, but I guess it's a product of not being able to tell the feelings on the other side of a text, or non-text.
My memory is like mush. I remember lots of details, just not ones that entirely matter. I'm not even sure which details are the ones that do matter. Some people seem to get frustrated at times because of it, though they end up saying it's not a big deal that matters. It matters to me. I think about things to blog or tell people about and can't remember what they are when the time comes.
I don't know. I hope things get better. I know I forgot a lot I wanted to say.
I'm having a hard time getting away from people in order to write, read, and paint. I need to finish some of these ideas before I lose them.
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