Today I went to the doctor's to get my first HPV vaccine of the sequence. I was kind of nervous since I still hate shots and tried to think of a way to get it and be fine with it. The needle turned out to be a small one and it was prepared out of eye-sight, which I thought would help; however, while the needle penetration wasn't terrible I felt the vaccine being pushed under my skin and spreading outward into my body. I'm a skinny guy, there isn't a lot of meat, and I think that's why it's harder with me. So it seemed like I was fine afterward; I got a spiderman band-aid. Once the old chatty doctor and my mom and I stood up to talk more in the doorway I began to feel the creeping sensation of nausea. I heard what was being said but a while later I heard every other word then no words. I saw my mom and the doctor become more like 3D outlines colored in by TV static colored like a rainbow. Then the background got blurry. I kept trying to formulate the thought "sorry, I need to sit down" and say it, but I was afraid I might throw up and I didn't want to interrupt (irrational fainting thoughts). But I was noticed and they got me sitting down. This experience was much more different than the previous time I got a shot standing up and just blacked out pretty much. It's the first time I've been able to examine a fainting spell in slow-motion. It felt like a second but my mom said it was more like five minutes. It was just a shot, yet it seemed like a got some short drug trip.
Then I got to see Dandelion, probably the last time before she gets married and buys a white picket fence; maybe just the married part. I might see her during Spring break, though. Anyway, I gave her a minimix of a larger parent mix themed "last human on Earth." I kind of liked the way it came together in such a short list of songs:
01 Air - One Hell of a Party
02 Horse Feathers - The Drought
03 Alexi Murdoch - Breathe
04 Röyksopp - Senior Living
05 He's My Brother She's My Sister - The House That Isn´t Mine
06 Loudon Wainwright III - Missing You
07 S - Wait
08 Belle and Sebastian - Fuck This Shit
09 Tim Buckley - Once I Was
10 Salim Nourallah - Endless Dream Days
11 brian eno & robert fripp - meissa
12 josh ritter - see how man was made
It's a tale of a harsh Earth and loneliness with a glimmer of wishful hope. Dandelion said Adian cried because of the sixth song. I don't know if it was in context of the mix or just the song alone; I like to think I setup that climax of emotion in the scheme of my storytelling.
Tomorrow morning I head out for Colorado, probably around 6am. I always put off packing until the very last minute and leaving home again makes me feel depressed, and I haven't felt sad in a long while. It's hard getting attached to some place with certain people. But I'll sleep a couple times and forget the feeling. It's an improper and immature way to live in the present, but it comes naturally to me.
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