Last Day of School

Currently reading:
20,000 Leagues Under the Sea (Pt.2)
Jules Verne

I took both tests today. It was really hot in the car so I gave up on studying and just walked in. Having said that, I believe I have an A in college algebra. Because the final was multiple choice, it didn't take much time and anyone who knows how to use a calculator could pass it.

Perryl couldn't come home today. He scheduled an adviser meeting for tomorrow rather than wait for school to start, so he should be home tomorrow afternoon. I didn't know what to do after that so I organized all the internet pictures I've collected. I cleaned my room and bathroom for the last time.

I started talking to Kellye again the other day. Apparently she's been thinking about establishing contact for a while but thought I was angry from back then. So, now that we're both more mature, we'll see how this goes.

I'm almost done implementing some of the edits Jonathan did to my short story. I'm thinking of quickly pulling out a flash fiction which is a story in a hundred words or less. I don't remember seeing one before so I'm not exactly sure how they're supposed to work - to what scope.

Here's what my parents do to prepare me for tests:

Merle is very lady-like:


I think I'm going to leave for Colorado Wednesday morning instead of Tuesday.

Read Me Until I'm Read

Today I ran along to Dandelion's workplace for lunch. It was a pretty long and confusing drive out where there are a lot of fields and, of course, she out-directed the GPS. I snagged her and we ran off to a food conglomeration whence we found Taco Cabana. They DID NOT have fish tacos, but I'm glad I got to avoid eating meat today. She got some chip and dip deal and I got a burrito and a taco, which ended up being like the burrito except harder to eat and with everything flying out of it.

After leaving, we went to this nearby nature preserve of which I can't remember the name. I brought my magic briefcase of games and we chessed like there's no tomorrow. There might not be a tomorrow. I kept overlooking all these obvious moves and she lowered her game to be on my level because that's how she is: self-sacrificing. I really do prefer to be beaten; then I know everyone was doing their best.

And she fixed up my turkey feather! I can't remember the term she actually said - something like "pimp your feather." I don't know. So now we both have feathers hanging from the windshield mirror, soaring on currents of A/C air. I now see why turkeys do not fly.
So we hanged out at her workplace which was abandoned. I do not know how she coordinates three businesses worth of employees and orders. She really underplays what she does.

I gave her the new Andrew Bird CD and a permanent wish (an oak gall of which I peeled the outer layer off). I don't think it turned out as permanent as I'd hoped, but better than I'd expected.

Then I went to class and found out the fourth test and final are on due tomorrow, so that's what I'm doing before Perryl gets in. Hopefully tomorrow night he and I and Jonathan will get together and see some weird bar. Hopefully before I leave I will see dandelion again.

Less than a week left...

P.S. Dandelion, they cut down that tree by the entrance of Brookhaven where I fell in the bed of wild carrot. The limbs are everywhere. If only wood could bleed.

I'm Disillusioned

Currently listening to:
Do You Realize?
Flaming Lips

So last night, I met Kayla at White Rock Lake and we talked and drank champagne. The field wasn't foggy like last time, I guess it's a thing of the seasons. Anyway, it was humid and warm and I felt all sticky. Kayla and I tried to figure out the back seats of my car since I haven't really had to deal with them at all. By 2 AM I was just mush in consciousness, so Kayla decided it was time to go.
*****
Theeen, in the morning I awoke to a ticket on my windshield. An hour after I got home, some cop charged me for parking the wrong way on a street. I wasn't aware I could park wrong and not feel like something was wrong! It truly is a BS non-moving rule since parking either way doesn't hinder other drivers. So now I know something that should have been taught to me in Driver's Ed. I think they should do warnings before punishing, especially since cops patrol our neighborhood every night and I've been parking the same way since I got the car.

I went to get Jonathan so he could be moral support as I got my passport papers turned in. Turns out everything my mom had printed was out of date, so I transcribed and found out passports aren't $97 anymore; they are $110 plus $25 processing. Of course, it's not that simple; the $110 had to be on a check, while the $25 had to be in cash. Seems very unsafe to be dealing with cash.
I feel pilfered and I assume this is how adults feel everyday. Each time I get punished without warning, I just become totally apathetic. We need money to live in the current society, but the society actively sucks money out of us for small insignificant things. Really: who cares which direction my car faces on a two-way street?

We left for Kayla's and I realized that we had left the outdated forms on the bench and it had my SSN on it with every other detail of my life. So I called the office once we got to Kayla's and was put on hold. For the next ten minutes visions of Mexicans flooding into the country under my identity (a running joke for the rest of the day) flashed before my eyes, until someone answered. I told the guy to burn the papers, but he shredded them instead.

The three of us went to El Fenix, the second time for me recently. I had a margarita that was three times stronger than previous ones, but I also had an empty stomach except for the mounds of chips and tortillas I ate. I swear I will never eat at any of those affiliated restaurants as long as I remember. So I stumbled out and we watched Cheaters at Kayla's for a while. I swear I will not watch TV as long as I remember.

Then I skipped class. School in a week. I'm scared.

A Couple Pasts

A replacement battery I ordered came in yesterday. I tried it in my phone with and without the power cord and each time the screen said "Please use genuine battery. Shutting down." I'm not sure what this means since both batteries look identical. How would a phone know the difference between batteries? How does it know the word 'genuine'? Strange stuff. I guess it's just a dud, so I'll have to arrange an exchange.

My parents seemed tired today. I think they were made tired by going grocery shopping and getting gas. I'm pretty sure they don't like the way the US is headed, the commercialism. I kind of feel the same way, but I keep a gentle air about me. People should be more like water.
*****
I was remembering my high school trip to New York today. It's such a big, dirty, restless place; though also very diverse and eclectic. Perhaps I was mostly impressed by the use of light - I like light - but when I remember the family trips in an RV and the small old-fashioned town and the endless unwinding road that pierced through its heart, New York doesn't stand a chance. An open sky clear of man's architectural marvels, where stars can shine, impress me far more than any big city. I speak from the standpoint of one unaccustomed to it, though.
*****
I'm basically done with a tentative short story I've been wracking myself with. I think I'll call it "Study of a Being," and let Jonathan edit it before tossing it aside for some months.

"You gotta pay attention to these things."

That's what I say quite often. There's a lot of detail that is overlooked by most people because the source may not apply to their lives, or something. For instance, tonight at a restaurant I saw this couple that seemed like they were from the past, maybe thirty or forty years ago, and were in the present time, wearing modern clothes, trying to pass themselves off at modern Americans. My mom said there was nothing unusual about them, though. Other people didn't give them a second glance; they were outside their lives, their night plans.

I always say "you have to pay attention to these things" because, if not you, then who? I'm sure another person may notice, but there's no way for you to know that. So take in the human condition and maybe write a little about it, just action for action, through your lens.
*****
Last night I went out with Jonathan and Kayla. We went to this 24hour foodspot. Jonathan and Kayla wanted to sit outside because it was too cold inside, so I had to sacrifice atmosphere. They even had live music inside!
I got cactus! I believe the dish is called nopales and it came with black beans and eggs. The other two got some sort of french toast deal. A guy sat alone at the table next to ours, I think listening to our childish banter about theatre and life. I wonder about the people that come out late at night and sit alone drinking coffee. Where are they coming from and going to? Is it a matter of sleep trouble? I guess I might be one someday, but I hope I can do it with a friend.
*****
Today was the bbq to finish the AmeriCorps period. I turned in my last time sheet and I'm done! This girl, Hannah, whom I haven't seen since the initial training, and Chris were my buddies from 8:30-1:15. Then we parted.

There were many veggie burgers, which was good - I'm glad they took note from last time. They also had this bag of mixed snacks and on the back it had an ingredient list for all five different things in it. Of course I showed this to the interns I worked with and we all had a good laugh about how ridiculous I am. I was feeling very loose at the bbq and Hannah said she didn't know anyone quite like me. That's probably a good thing.

Last Day of Work

Currently reading:
20,000 Leagues Under the Sea (pt.1)
Jules Verne

Today was the last day of the internship. It was mostly a hangout day until the other interns and supervisors returned. Then us AmeriCorps people gave out presentations. The supervisor was very sneaky about it, I don't think any of us realized that the others had projects and that we were building toward a day of presentations. I was right when I said our going away party was a final bout of work. The pizza and coffee cake were good, though.

The whole deal was like my sister's graduation, we went up one at a time and something was said about each of us. Mine was that I take pride in what I work on and put in a full effort and was a strong leader in projects. Then we all got goodies: patch, hat, mug, a copy of Last Child in the Woods (which is a good book I've been waiting to get). The supervisor was tearing up by the end of it. I guess it's kind of like having children grow up and go off to college, not having their soft footfalls on the floor - except all those years go by in a ten week period.

Before I left, I jumped in the electric go-cart with two of the younger interns who know how to drive very fast, drift, and not go off a cliff. A couple times, young trees or tall grass was run down which caused some disagreement amongst us. Then we got to a gated off area and quickly turned into a wild area very overgrown. Large branches jumped up at us and giant ragweed were mowed down in a way very reminiscent of running over people in video games. At one point, a big ripe bur plant was hiding behind some vegetation we drove over and it exploded over the front of the cart, covering each of us in the seeds. I'm glad I got out shortly after that.
*****
Something I've noticed with many of the girls I try to hangout with is their claim of indecision. Someone can leave the day up to them and they say "whatever you want to do" or "I'm not picky" or any variation. I really do not believe there's nothing they care a great deal to do. Maybe it's some sort of gender deal, following along with the male figure's point of direction. I'm not sure. I always wait for a decision on the girls' part, and if they don't make one we sit where we are and talk. Then again, if I'm always waiting for them to make a decision perhaps I'm the indecisive one.
Nah, I can come up with what I like to do.

She Wrote the Prologue to the Rest of My Life

Currently listening to:
Fillmore Jive
Pavement

So ends another chapter in my life; or maybe the chapter is still going. I no longer know because I'm still living in it. What I do know is a transition has happened, a conclusion has been reached. It's like a well-written book: the end comes gradually and you accept it - there's nothing else you can do. The characters and tales will be missed. It's not a dead-end ending or one that leaves the reader perturbed, it is comfortable and quiet.

What I'm vaguely alluding to is a period of cheating in my life which has ended. I'm no longer as tightly entangled in Dandelion's relationship - not "the other guy" anymore. I understand her wanting to see what more can happen with her relationship, that's her story. I'll continue writing mine; including my book, the story of everyone. I don't know how to capture all these feelings, so I'm just throwing in bits and pieces.

In the end, this is probably the right thing for the time. Being picked up and set back down, the nausea of a roller coaster, is no way to live. These pains temper me, and now I have a release. I hope she holds me as a bird, loose but not so loose that I fly away, so that if she ever turns around I'll be there, somewhat familiar.

To my future self:
I hope you don't need reminding, but remember she's done more for you in one summer than any of the previous relationships. Despite the unforeseen "break-up," you are much stronger than you were, perhaps even more certain of who you are and who you want to be. I hope you stayed in touch with her.

On another note, I remember that gut wrenching feeling of break-ups from the beginning of everything. It seems after a succession of them, the feeling becomes a dull ache instead of the burning-stop-eating-it's -all-over feeling and that is called "becoming stronger." That more children didn't commit suicide in the throes of those first break-ups always surprised me. It's sort of like the survival of the fittest of relationships.

She said she wants to return all the letters I gave her, but keep the artful things. I understand the risk in harboring them and her desire to have me as her best kept secret without physical evidence lying around, but I'm just not sure. If it's this or her burning them, I guess I'll hold onto them until she's ready to take them back. I just may charge interest!

There are two moments of relief I have experienced recently: the first is this release; the second is when I realized there was nothing I could give her that she didn't already have. I have no poetic way to describe the feeling of that weight lifting off of me. I had permission to be me and not try to live up to anything, and maybe that has eased this release. I think that is the attitude that should be sought after in relationships; two people being together, not expecting anything, - that's love.

Part of me misses the shenanigans of the first meetings but maybe those become prime numbers as the relationship deepens. I really will miss the adventures and the ones that won't ever seem to finish, though maybe there will be time for them someday? I'm just glad to have her for a best friend and provide her with a close friend. Perhaps someday we'll walk the same path in step, or at least speak in the old terms in the open.

I could go on and on - that's just the effect she has on me - but I'll stop. I know this sounds very final, but it's actually just a beginning.

Mirror Studies

I don't think this is something unique to me, but is something everyone does conscious or no. When I look in the mirror, at myself, I never fully see myself. I don't really look at myself to see myself, there's always some goal that narrows my vision. If I check my hair, I see that region; if I wash my face, I see spots one at a time. I think its interesting that I have a hard time taking in my complete physiognomy. If I didn't have the same trouble when looking at other people's faces, I might assume it was because I only look in a mirror once a day - inexperience.

Mirrors have been a big deal with writers, I think. There's something very unusual and unearthly about them. Reflections we can deal with, because they are only ghosts, phosphorescent memories; mirrors present the hard duplicate and bring up questions of reality. How can such a thin piece of material contain such depth of environment? How thin is the depth of our environment? I don't know, man.

Finally, there was this girl in a car at a stop light. She looked in the windshield mirror, perhaps directly at me, then at herself, checking her face for some bit of error. The windshield mirror filled entirely with her field-of-wheat golden hair as she turned her attention to the driver-side mirror. Not much fits in that mirror because of its enlarging quality, so I saw dark, curt sunglasses and lips held together and strays of blown hair. This mirror did not content her and she turned back to the windshield mirror to stare through me, then caress her hair. When she looked from the driver-side mirror, she turned towards it before turning the other direction, as if preparing for a running start. The slight turn caused a blinking of light as the sun's rays touched and became attached to the track of her nose ring. If it made a sound I imagine it would be like a sword sliding across a piece of metal.

Interesting stuff.

Science and Philosophy

Lazy day. I'm not sure where the weekend has gone, but it's not here anymore. I think I'm going to see Jonathan tonight, but I don't know exactly what we'll do.

Interesting NPR article I read today spoke of teleportation. There's some idea called quantum entanglement which involves the vibrations atoms do, and if you separate two atoms and move them some distance from each other, there's a sort of cord connecting them so if one is affected it happens to the other.

So they say something could be moved a great distance by taking a set of atoms and forcing them upon another set a distance away. However, science becomes philosophy when you consider moving living things. Apparently, to move a set of atoms across the way, the original atoms must be "destroyed." This means, for Texas me to go to Colorado instantly, Texas me will be destroyed. Colorado me will be me in terms of behavior and memory and physical looks, but will it really be me, or a clone, or what? Remember the original no longer exists.

Very interesting stuff; reminds me of Body Snatchers.

Heartbeats

Currently listening to:
Slippin'
Quadron

Took a math test today, then prepared for the bed picnic. I wasn't sure if I would follow through with it since it's something new to me. In the end, preparations were underway and the "grounds" were set up and the guests arrived.

I had trouble getting into it, so I cheated and had a couple shots to sort of sense the things they might say. And we spoke of many things like books and philosophy and love; conversation really bounced around with these guys. Maybe someday it will come more naturally, second nature. Good practice, though.

I'll throw on a few pictures and put the rest on Facebook-

I think I need real friends to do this with; friends with eyes. I'm not sure if their eyes are creepier as black holes or as realistic eyes. At the least they could have those shiny button eyes...
*****
Then I went to Eatzi's with my parents before seeing Jonathan's play, The Umbrella Play by P Seth Bauer. It was a very good play about human relationships and how rain can bring people closer and loosen the walls we all have around us. I'm thinking of getting a copy, but I heard a lot of the magic in the play was director/actor character decision, so I guess once it's over it's lost except in memory.

I'm not sure how I feel about actors. I used to not trust them as much because I wasn't sure if they were being honest with who they are toward me. I suppose I still don't trust them to some degree, but I think I respect them more than I used to. They are sort of like little romanticists, always trading faces. I wonder if it's to find the face they really like and then they will be that character the rest of their lives. I really get wrapped up in plays; maybe I just like living vicariously through the actors.
After the show I did the awkward brief conversations I have with people I used to know in high school. Kayla and I had one of those extremely long hugs from back in those days; like five to ten minute hugs. Apparently we started swaying to the leaving music which must have looked pretty funny. She said she got a new phone but thinks she added my number, and that we and maybe Jonathan should have another summer get together like we did last summer. It really made my night.

Dawn to Dusk

Today for work we went out to this big event where many groups came together to maintain this community center. I'm not sure which neighborhood it is, the zip code is 75212.
I got pizza for lunch and lots of gatorade. My fellow interns were amazed that I was eating pizza and teased me about high fructose corn syrup and all that jazz. Silly kids. Then my ring sent a piece of metal into the base of my finger while I was shoveling, so I moseyed around for a while.

Here is me at home after the event:


Theeeen, I went to the doctor and found out I won't need a shot for the next eight years, probably. Yes! After that I went for a haircut; a little late given that the summer season is winding down, but whatever. It will last through the Fall semester.

Leaving conversation:
Old lady: You look great!
Me: Thanks! You're not half bad yourself!
(at the register, OL walks up)
OL: Lookin' good, you're a changed man!
Me: Quick, somebody give me a job!

I say that every time I clean myself up slightly.

To My Future Self

Currently listening to:
There is a Light That Never Goes Out
The Smiths

"Take me out tonight
oh take me anywhere, I don't care
I don't care, I don't care
driving in your car
I never never want to go home
because I haven't got one
no, I haven't got one"

Me? I'm nothing special. Just a spoiled kid (not a brat, though).

I think I'm a nice person, not the old LiveJournal self. I haven't really had bad dreams since that time, just dreams of longing.

Smells I don't like: gasoline and cut grass. They just won't leave my nose! And my beard smells funny to me after I eat pizza.

I've basically made the transition to being vegetarian, except in rare occasions where seafood is what there is. The people I heckle about food usually end up looking more at the ingredients of their food. I still sort of have a fear of food shortages, but I don't stockpile like I used to.

I wonder how it would feel to omit boxers from my wardrobe. I might try it for a day to see how it feels but I think I may need their added thickness to help keep my pants up. Maybe. I've also lost interest in sleeping in pajamas.

When I'm walking alone, wherever, I like to pretend I'm a wild animal. I have to be vary aware and careful of my surroundings. As the sun sets, I look up and feel remorse at losing the warmth of day.

I have an adult body. It's weird looking at it in its natural nudity.
I think I'll do more of these every so often.

"I've got to get out of here"

That's what I think every time I'm in math class around break.

As a night class, I think it puts me in a peculiar position where I learn at a faster rate because I hope to get out early. Of course, everyone else needs many examples (and I admit some are useful variations for me), but it makes me stuck. I wish it could get out earlier; the extra time bothers me, but the X building does more so: it smells like a mix of hospitals and cheap motels.

I suppose if I don't have anywhere better to be (AKA, have little hope of something happening that night), I'll stay in class. It keeps me off the streets.
*****
At work the river cooter had some intestine looking thing hanging out its rear, so we all packed up and went to the vet. I pet a friendly cat which looked like a smokey mountain during a fading sunset while the vet assistant said our turtle's penis had extended and couldn't return to the sheath. Not sure what will happen with that turtle, or that cat.

We went to the Dogwood Canyon which is going to be the newest Audubon center in the area. I was digging up privet when the shovel popped up and cast the handle into my groin. It didn't hurt until I got home, and now I'm sore and my poison ivy itches. At least my kayaking wounds are healing.

For lunch we all went to Chik-fil-a. I brought my organic lunch. There were a ton of people there, supposedly because it's the suburbs so many of the families live out in the Cedar Hill area. It's a shame mothers submit their children to that food; but, after that, I submitted myself to some Braum's iced cream! I contradict like that. The Braum's we went to didn't have any entirely absurd photographs on the wall, which was too bad.
*****
I utilized my texting ability to chat with Dandelion throughout the day. She said she didn't think I really understand her, though I may know her. I told her I will likely never know or understand her as she truly is, because we really can't know other people outside of ourselves. This is very different from my claims of wanting to figure her out when we first met. I'm not sure why the perspective changed. I've been feeling much more plateaued about our relationship, more calm and "hippie-ish" she might say. Of course, the waters may change, but I hope this feeling sticks around a bit - I think she prefers this mood.

"Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes." -Whitman

Another Good Day at Work

Currently listening to:
Sparrow
Simon and Garfunkel

Today Ford Motor Company came to TRAC for some company retreat and after they left, they paid for all other visitors and hired a snow cone car to give out free refreshments.

Different sort of job during all of this; I was a model. All the interns dragged canoes and kayaks to the visible pond and paddled around from 10:30 to 1. I guess I can say I have "atmosphere" experience now. I didn't get sunburned and didn't get tipped into the pond by the young interns. I must have paddled incorrectly because the joint between my thumb and fingers got raw.

Then was lunch. Ford took over our kitchen and closets (they shoved chefs in the closet and had them chopping things), and once they were done eating we descended like locust. There was tons of vegetarian food this time, and we all got many boxes to take home. This turned out to be a good thing because I locked my car keys in the car. While I was emptying my pockets of things the pond might ruin, I set the keys on the driver seat and forgot them.
So, my mom and sister came and I showed them around and gave my mom a dinner she wouldn't have to cook. She gave me her key so I could have one in each pocket, in case it happens again.

Came home and showered at five. Something about the water on my raw thumb spots made them hurt very much. Sort of a stinging pain and a feeling that my skin was expanding and contracting again and again. It hurt, but I thought it was actually an exquisite hurting, an artful pain; stinging without actually being serious. I don't know. I'll recognize it more in the future.

It's raining so I'm not going to class. I tagged Dandelion when I started writing, but I can't remember why; If I remember I'll comment it. She's just preoccupied lately. I hope we play tennis or watch my movie which came in.

Tired Sundays

Currently listening to:
Heartbreak Warfare
John Mayer

Yep, very itchy. I think someone should make an irritation clinic that has a swimming pool filled with calamine. Mmmm..
*****
Today my family and I drove to Fort Worth to get pickle barrels for my parents' rain collection system. While in town we ate at this Mexican restaurant that my parents like, but it gave me digestion issues. I just don't like that kind of food, I guess. After that we went to a cowgirl museum that had a Georgia O'Keeffe exhibit. It was neat, but I itched so much I couldn't concentrate on any of it.

Stopped at Verizon and decided to keep my phone for the next two years and get a new one before trying for the Peace Corps. I still have to buy a new battery, but I have unlimited texting! And it includes pictures messaging too!! This is exciting only because everyone texts instead of calling. Calling is kind of nervous anyway.

The interesting thing about texting is that once never really knows where they go or who gets it. The minute you hit "send" it's gone, no taking it back. Then is the wait for a response, a nervous wait of half fear/half regret. Until a response is received, I won't know who I'm talking to.
*****
I was thinking about computers and how they are very human-like. I think I would like to write a short story on the topic in the style of Jerzy Kosingski, a very hard aim to accomplish.

I was also thinking it would be interesting to produce a CD of the daily sounds which surround an individual as they go about their day - specifically walking the entire day inside and outside and in elevators and in parks and so on.
*****
"You don't want me to love you; all you want is for me to abandon myself to the dreams and fantasies which you inspire in me. All you want is to prolong this impulse, this moment."

Thick Sound

Currently listening to:
The Suburbs
Arcade Fire

I think my chigger bits might actually be poison ivy again. This would be the first time it has itched, though. It really itches.
*****
Tonight, tonight, tonight. I went to the Lakewood Bar and Grill with Jonathan. The grill was closed so Jonathan didn't get any food and he couldn't do the bar because he corrected the doorman and said he was under twenty-one.

Why go to a bar? For the experience and to see a band.
I don't understand bars, they never have drink menus so I don't know names or prices; but they have every bottle of alcohol known to man.

The conversation went something like this:
Barmaid: I can't have minors at the bar.
[Jonathan scuttles away]
Me: I just turned twenty-one recently so I'm new to this. Give me the girliest drink you have.
Barmaid: Seriously?
Me: Well, uh, no.
Barmaid: Want a beer?
Me: No, I just drink alcohol. (oops, meant liquor) How about a mojito?
Barmaid: No.
Me: I'll take a margarita.
Then she explained that the bar keeps my card, sort of like a running tab or something. I'm not sure why.
So, I don't know why I couldn't get a mojito since that's a sort of mixed drink. I think I need to wikihow "getting your first drink at a bar" or just memorize a bunch of drink names. I should know what I'm doing in there.

Anyway, after I sufficiently embarrassed myself, I sat down for the real reason I was there: to hear Regatta de Faux. It's a Police cover band featuring my Brookhaven Composition professor, Hurshel Burton, and two other guys. Hurshel plays bass and does lead vocals, which Jonathan said is a weird combination. I bet no one else there knew Hurshel is an English PhD by day. As he said, "They just think it's another little black guy up there."

Pictures:




Some of that message in a boooootle.

Jonathan was having a blast.

We saw a lady who went between two guys, some weird love triangle. There was a long haired guy with a big beard who danced the whole time and it was funny watching people try to walk around him because of his erratic bobbing. There were barflies that couldn't get comfortable, so they moved from one side of the building to the other, constantly. A group for a bachelorette party showed up to claim their reserved tables. They screamed a lot and told each other to "shut up" in that friendly sort of way, all before their drinks ever showed up. It was kind of like a group of little girls somehow got into the place. I guess there's always one night where adults don't act their ages. Left me pretty confused.

After the set, Hurshel gave me a quick chat and said we should do sushi once more. I definitely think I'll message him about that before school starts!

Solo Adventure

After class, I experienced an encounter with a group of stargazers. They showed me the speck of Venus over the setting Sun which colored the painted clouds.

The abstract painting by the tree is gone. Someone else must have stolen it.

Safe as a Cootie Wootie With You

Currently listening to:
Hey, Bulldog
Beatles

I was allowed to hang out with Dandelion last night, partly because I had to give her bread before it molded and learned to talk, if you know what I mean. She cleaned cameras and I maintained plants (she has one labeled "Johnny jump up" and I thought it was named after our mutualish friend; funny), and we discussed matters of the utmost importance, like paper globes and nursery rhymes. It was a good, quiet, tired hang out.

I thought about going to this street parallel to mine where Smokey Mountain was to take this abstract painting that's leaning against a tree in front of a mansion. Dandelion seemed to think it was still wanted, though it was left in the front yard, in the open. I ended up not getting it. I might try in a couple more days.
It would have been an interesting solo adventure which Dandelion says I should invest more time in. I need to figure out how to get in that mindset of childish action; I've got the imagination down. It's just more fun with another person, though.

I'm kind of silly sometimes and I forget and wonder if things are still the way they were a second ago. I swear I feel a change in the water occasionally, but maybe it's just my mind over-evaluating some little detail never before noticed. The mixtape is a good reminder of how things stand, so maybe if I get worked up I could listen to one or both together to put everything back in its place.
I just keep learning! I feel like Algernon.
*****
I've been bitten up by chiggers from all the trail maintenance work. Supposedly they try to get you where you are hottest, so I've got some in my leg joints and through my socks and, of course, the groin. Mom said it would look weird if I went around scratching my groin all day, so I'm fighting the itch. Maybe I'll drive home in the nude again so I can scratch all the bites. Haha!
*****
"'I am no king, and I am no lord,
And I am no soldier at arms,' said he.
'I'm none but a harper, and a very poor harper,
That am come hither to wed with ye.'

'If you were a lord, you should be my lord,
And the same if you were a thief,' said she.
'And if you are a harper, you shall be my harper,
For it makes no matter to me, to me,
For it makes no matter to me.'

'But what if it prove that I am no harper?
That I lied for your love most monstrously?'
'Why, then I'll teach you to play and sing,
For I dearly love a good harp,' said she."
THE END

Strangers in the Night

Currently listening to:
Strangers in the Night
Frank Sinatra

Slow day at work.

Strangers in the night exchanging glances
Wond'ring in the night
What were the chances we'd be sharing love
Before the night was through.

Something in your eyes was so inviting,
Something in you smile was so exciting,
Something in my heart,
Told me I must have you.

Strangers in the night, two lonely people
We were strangers in the night
Up to the moment
When we said our first hello.
Little did we know
Love was just a glance away,
A warm embracing dance away and -

Ever since that night we've been together.
Lovers at first sight, in love forever.
It turned out so right,
For strangers in the night.

Funerals

I was a leader again, at work. After work my apathy level steadily rose. I think this happens after periods of stressful emotion, sort of a burn out, and I'm mellow. Maybe it's also like getting sick: you catch it and then you're immune from getting it again immediately. Interesting stuff.

So while I was busy not caring in math class, I kind of did this eye rolling head falling thing and I thought I might be in the process of fainting. I wish I had, the day would have been more interesting; though I would have to make up the math test, and I'm glad I got that out of the way. Hurrah for not fainting, then!

Today's thought features funeral processions because one passed me a couple weeks ago. I find it odd that someone's leftovers are carted in parade fashion, and that everyone seems to know to not drive passed it. No one worries about being late for work.
I know it's a respect deal, but then no one respects a vehicle carrying a piano. I see little difference in the remains of a tree and the remains of a human, except that the tree does even more after death. It's going to be weird when we run out of places to bury people.

I wonder when I'm going to run out of ideas to babble about.
-I've never met a tree I didn't like- (can't say that about many things in life)